Shlok Khemani
Published on

2023

Authors

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2023 was the toughest, weirdest, and most challenging year of my life. But it was also the year I grew the most, made some amazing memories, and took a step closer to realizing what I wanted from life.

This is a reflection post where I’ll share my journey, learnings, and favorite memories from 2023.

I’ll then set some expectations for 2024.

Let’s go.

Money is not happiness

If it’s not sustainable, I’m not interested. - Morgan Housel

Yes, super cliche. We’ve heard variants of this, from all sorts of people and sources, all our lives. Yet, like most life lessons, you have to experience it to truly understand it. In 2023, I did.

The new year started with a new job, one that paid me enough money to fulfill all my needs and more. Theoretically, I had everything I wanted - a remote job that let me travel, smart and highly talented colleagues, a flexible work culture, and good pay. Yet, from the very start, it didn’t feel right. Turns out, what I thought I wanted was wrong.

So, less than 6 months after joining my “dream job”, I left it. You can find my professional reasoning here. As for the personal bit, I was in a role that I didn’t enjoy, in an industry I didn’t care about. No amount of money could compensate for the lack of excitement I felt waking up every day. Quitting was paradoxically a very tough but also very easy decision.

Health

A healthy man wants a thousand things, a sick man only wants one. - Confucius

Apart from a few stretches here and there, I’ve neglected fitness all my life. Any sort of commitment or momentum was temporary and lasted at best a few months before I’d go back to completely ignoring my body.

The last four months of 2023 changed things. I was simply sick of feeling like crap and not being proud of the body that looked back at me from the mirror. Something had to change, and it did.

  • Lost 10 kg by following the Tim Ferriss slow-carb diet. I ate the same meals 6x/week followed by 1 day of an eat-all-you-want cheat day.
  • Physical activity at least 5x a week with gym 2x a week

The behavior change came from realizing that it’s important to set goals and habits that are flexible and sustainable. Committing to the gym only 2x a week allowed me to skip days I didn’t feel like going. Now that a habit is formed, I can gradually increase the frequency. Similarly, having the same meals every day removed any decision fatigue. The cheat day made it sustainable.

Overall, it’s the fittest I’ve felt in almost 5 years. By the end of 2024, I will be in the best shape of my life.

I highly recommend everyone read The 4-Hour Body. It changed my life.

Addictions

I quit 3 major addictions in 2023 - two of which I’d battled for years. It’s probably my proudest achievement from the year.

I realized that the process of letting go of an addiction starts with a feeling of disgust towards it. For example, the relief and mental clarity one feels from smoking leads to one reaching out for another cigarette. However, the disgust of the tar, smell, or cancer risk leads to one realizing they need to quit it.

Of course, no one wants to be disgusting, which is what makes disgust such a powerful habit-breaker.

(I don’t want to name them on a public forum but feel free to reach out to me if you’re curious to know what the addictions I quit were.)

Momentum

Momentum is very important. One thing leads to another. It is much easier to follow a diet AND go to the gym than do both independently. Similarly, for any creative pursuit, consistency is king. Finishing one piece of writing makes it easier to start the next one.

Because of the workings of momentum, it pays off to aim high and do hard things. The harder the goal you accomplish, the more ambitious you can be for the next one.

For me, 2023 was all about using the momentum from one aspect of life and carrying it to another.

Creating and Building

create > consume

We all have our unique set of creative talents. I’ve realized how important it is to provide outlets for them. I would even say that unleashing your creative abilities is the greatest service you can do to both yourself and the people around you.

Quitting my job and giving myself the time and space to wander led to 2023 being my most creative year yet.

  • I wrote more than ever
  • I clicked more pictures than ever
  • I learned how to edit videos
  • I released my first software product

It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. I hope to take this momentum to make 2024 and be even more creatively prolific.

Mental Health

Meditation is intermittent fasting for the mind.

The second half of 2022 was extremely tough on my mental health. I regularly woke up with paralyzing anxiety and lost all joy and agency in life. Weeks and months, where I’m not sure what I did or how I survived, passed in a blur. I had at least one major panic attack. I lost the ability, strength, and desire to do even the simplest of things. A lot of this stemmed from work, where I wasn’t happy.

With the new year came a new job. While I did much better, the trauma didn’t disappear overnight. It took me a few months (and major life decisions) to get back to normal. Now, I’m probably stronger than ever mentally.

A few things helped - spending time in nature, talking to people about my problems, but most of all meditation.

I’ve tried meditating for years but they were always false starts. I guess it’s one of those things that comes to you when you’re truly ready for it. I started in mid-June and have practiced it (10-20 min sessions) on maybe 60% of the days since. The Waking Up app helped me build a habit with 10-minute guided sessions. I highly recommend it. You can use this link to get 30 days free.

Embracing Myself

We don’t choose our gifts. Our gifts choose us. - David Perell

For years, I’d been trying to force things that didn’t come naturally to me. I’d try to be the extrovert, life-of-the-party person, only to feel miserable when it didn’t work out that way. Similarly, I was in a professional role (sales) that required a skill set I never possessed.

A big lesson from 2023 is to accept who I am and play to my strengths. The world is huge with opportunities for all skills and personalities. It’s better, easier, and more rewarding to do things that require less resistance against who we inherently are.

Travel

Travel has for years been a very important part of my life. I’m grateful that in 2023, partially because of my job and then a career break, I got to travel more than ever.

I started my year on the remote and tiny island of Con Dao in Vietnam. Work then took me to the UK and the US. Later in the year, I spent a month in Nepal, where I fell in love with the Mardi Himal trek. Finally, I visited Sri Lanka, which has amazingly diverse landscapes and the kindest people.

Within India, I visited Himachal Pradesh, where I got stuck in the floods, and Goa, which was kind enough to give us amazing weather in the peak monsoon season. Also, having recently moved to Bengaluru, I made weekend trips to Wayanad, Coorg, and Hyderabad.

For the longest time, I’d wanted to be a digital nomad. It seemed like the ideal lifestyle to me. In 2023, that perception changed. I love having a base in Bengaluru. I appreciate the consistency of sleep, diet, people, and lifestyle it brings. Now, I believe having a base and traveling to and fro from there is ideal for me. Of course, that could change too in the future!

Books

During the first COVID lockdown, I read a lot. Then, life happened and my reading reduced significantly. This wasn’t for a lack of trying. I pushed to make it a habit but for three years, it just wouldn’t happen. Taking a career break changed things. I got back to consistently reading in the second half of 2023.

It’s common advice at this point but the trick for me was to start a lot of books and not commit to finishing any of them, apart from the ones I found enjoyable. Similarly, reading multiple books at the same time reduces the friction to start or finish any one book.

Here are some of my top picks from the year:

  • The Prize - Daniel Yergen
  • The Anthology of Balaji
  • A Short History of Financial Euphoria - John Kenneth Galbraith
  • Benjamin Franklin - Walter Isaacson
  • Elon Musk - Walter Isaacson
  • Zero to One - Peter Thiel
  • Catching Fire - Richard Wrangham
  • The Internet of Money - Andreas Antonopoulos
  • How the Internet Happened - Brian McCullough
  • Excellent Advice for Living - Kevin Kelly
  • Becoming Steve Jobs - Brent Schlender and Rick Tetzeli
  • The Snow Leopard - Peter Matthiessen
  • How Innovation Works - Matt Ridley
  • Chaos Monkeys - Antonio Garcia Martinez
  • The Founders - Jimmy Soni

I’ve taken a liking to reading biographies and industry and company histories and hope to do more of the same in 2024 (along with some fiction and science). Do share recommendations, if any!

Top Memories

  • Driving a Tesla along the Pacific Coast. The speed. The ocean. The cliffs. The sunsets. It was exhilarating, beautiful, and just perfect.
  • I’ve been following Liverpool FC for over 10 years now. I finally got to see them play in person. It was a terrible match in terrible weather but still, a memory I’ll cherish for life. Also, Liverpool is an amazing city with very friendly people.
  • Waterfalls, hidden lagoons, and a beautiful sunset with my partner in Goa. We went during the off-season so were skeptical about the weather. Thankfully, it was great and the time we spent together was wonderful.
  • A late-night scooter ride in pouring rain along the coast of Con Dao in Vietnam. The roads were great and fully empty. I almost reached a state of zen. This, followed by a massage and bowl of pho, made for a memorable evening.
  • I’ve written about my experience doing the Mardi Himal trek in detail here but the sunrise one particular day was the most beautiful thing sight I’d ever seen, etched in memory forever.
  • December was spent heads down building and then releasing Streaks. My first ever product, I loved every bit of it and it gave me tangents of interest to further explore.

The year ahead

2023, with all of its realizations and changes, felt like the beginning of the rest of my life. I hope 2024 brings more of the same energy, and I continue what I started, building on the momentum.

Here are some things I hope to achieve in the year. I’ve linked to some of these on the blockchain (using Streaks).

Career: Top priority. I want to decide what I want to do with the next 5 years of my life. This includes industry, role, and people I work with.

Meditation: Ideally, I would meditate every day. But the world isn’t ideal. So, I resolve to meditate for at least 330 days this year.

Health: The subjective goal is to be the fittest I ever have been. Objectively, this translates to:

  • Flexibility: Being able to touch my toes (and hold for 10s) both standing and sitting (legs straight and wide).
  • Posture: I’ve struggled with Nerd Neck for years. That changes in 2024. I want to have a straight back with my neck held high.
  • Body Fat: Sub 15% body fat (abs)

Creativity: As I mentioned earlier, I want to be more creatively prolific in 2024 than ever before. Some goals:

  • Nepal travel video: I have some amazing raw footage from Nepal that I’ve been sitting on for a very long time. I will convert it into a video.
  • Photography: I will click, edit, and publicly post at least 50 pictures this year. I will also release at least one NFT collection of my pictures.
  • AI Art: Create 330 pieces of AI art this year.
  • Writing: It is difficult to quantify an output for writing as I want to experiment with tougher topics and newer formats. Overall, I hope to write for at least 150 hours in 2024.
  • Product: Again, difficult to quantify. I love coding and it’s the only activity that gives me a sense of flow. I will maintain a developer log on my website with learnings and observations.
  • Personal website: I want to revamp my personal website such that it reflects my personality and also doubles as a portfolio.

Other random goals:

  • Become fluent in German
  • Read
    • The Beginning of Infinity
    • The Fabric of Reality
    • The Sovereign Individual
    • Feynman Lectures on Physics
    • The Compleat Strategyst
  • Learn how to sell on the internet
  • Host dinner parties
  • Be more active on new-age social media platforms - Airchat, Farcaster etc

And with that, I officially wrap 2023 (albeit, 15 days late). Here’s to the new year - hope you crush your goals as I intend to crush mine!